Day 20: A look back at Freedom Day

Tuesday the 24th of July 2007 was Freedom Day...Pig Out Day...Pork Out Day...

It was the day when Carbs were finally allowed to be a part of my life again, albeit for all of 24 hours only.

I faithfully took photographs of all the items I ate up until lunchtime, where it then started to get boring (and to my horror, I actually stopped thinking about food). And the carbs obviously made me blank out because my photos, except for one, didn't get saved onto my phone!

The minute the clock hit 12.01 on Tuesday the 24th of July, I was ready to go crazy. Had a hard time sleeping because I was busy thinking about FOOD, FOOD, FOOD!

But in order to ensure that the measurements were not botched up, I had to not eat until I'd done all my stats. (dieting makes ya obsessive that way I think).

I did find a mood improvement - of course, I was never super cranky but people who worked with me would have found the fuse somewhat short although again, it's not possible to tell if this was just job stress or actual carb-deficiency syndrome working.

I was all ready to poo-poo a lot of Mr Kirsch's findings - that I would not be interested in the calorific, carb-laden, white-flour and sugar overload loves of my life, before I went on his plan. I was definitely ready to poo-poo any suggestion that I would not find coffee had the same effect on me. I mean come on - we're talking COFFEE!

Java, latte, mocha, americano...joe...no way hose...

So I was shocked to discover, that Green Tea had won. Coffee (which was the first thing I had on Freedom Day) did not come with the accompanyment of Hallelujah in the background, like some invisible Starbucks Siren Chorus. In fact, I felt nothing. Neither great deep pleasure at my first cup of coffee in 14 days, or that perk me up that I always felt coffee gave me.

So, could have been a lousy cup of coffee right?

Probably. Thank god I didn't feel the same way about the doughnut...or the 3/4 boiled eggs (YOLK!!!)...or the kaya on toast...or the strawberry doughnut from Starbucks...or the Chocochino doughnut from Big Apple (a surprising winner. But then again, I was a formerly condemned prisoner so...)

Friends were excited about what I had eaten for breakfast with everyone taking a guess at what was the First Freedom Meal (the strawberry snow doughnut and Americano at Starbucks!)

I was however in for more surprises.

Lunch was a fun affair but I was starting to feel this strange feeling that perhaps I only really needed to have ONE freedom meal...as in...I would have been quite happy to eat my diet food at lunch.

BANISH SUCH THOUGHTS. I reminded myself that I was going to go back on the diet again the next day (Maintainence I tell you - it's what REALLY KILLS YOU) and I should eat while I still could. I suppose a sort of 'make hay while the sun shines' sort of mentality.

So, La Manila's Char Kuay Teow and Curry Mee beckoned. I had a lunch buddy so that helped even things out. I even managed to avoid eating cake. Big achievement although perhaps rather self-serving since I knew the birthday dinner I would be attending the next night would feature cake.

Chased the Curry Mee with a latte at Dome. Again, Coffee Emptiness. I was beginning to be really worried. Had I been kidnapped by the Nazi Aliens of Health Food and replaced by some clone that even I did not recognise?

I ended my evening with junk-food extravaganza worthy of 14 days of no saturated fats, no carbs, no alchohol, no sugar...no chips, no corn and no batter...with a greasy meal at Chillis.

CHICKEN CRISPERS.

Sloshed down with a Presidante Margarita to toast my great achievement of 14 days on that insane diet with the crazy amount of exercise. I was almost sad to see the day end - I was too full to eat anything more but dreading the fact that I had promised myself I could get back into the saddle again and do Phase 1 again (without the crazy exercise) but declining all the A,B,C,D,E and F that Mr Kirsch has banned as EVIL.

This post is finally being finished, some 8 days after the fact - and I've finally gotten around to tallying up my calorie count from that faithful day.

Breakfast: 1/2 plate nasi lemak, 2 eggs with yolk, 2 slices of bread with kaya toast, 1/2 strawberry jam doughnut and 1/4 cup American
Estimated calories damage: 400 + 168 + 400 + 200 +10 = 1178 calories

Lunch: 1/2 bowl curry mee, 1/2 plate of Char Kuay Teow
Estimated calorie damage: 400 + 400 = 800 calories

Afternoon tea: Latte
Estimated Calorie Damage: 220 calories (yes, Lattes are that evil!)

Dinner: Chicken Crispers, with fries, and corn on the cob side, with honey mustard dressing, and Presidante Margarita
Precise Calorie Damage: (computed using Chilli's nutrition data) - 2780 calories

TOTAL DAMAGE for 1 Day: 4758 calories

Amount of Exercise required to get rid of all that...(yeah, I'm getting hard core with this guilt trip I can see)

BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) = approximately 1300 calories.
10 minutes on the Elliptical = 80 calories OR 8 calories per minute
To get rid of 3458 calories would require 7.2 hours of exercise at a heart rate of 140-150 beats per minute.

In short, a totally unwise idea to fall off the wagon this dramatically! As a result...this 24 hour eating spree led to a instant weight gain of 1.5 kgs! How, I have no idea. But getting rid of it took me another 6 days on the diet (without the strict exercise).

Moral of the Story: Celebrate with just ONE cheat meal.

Day 13: 24 hours to go!

I have been dreaming of...



BAGEL....



....CURRY MEE...



Chicken Crispers at Chillis...

24 hours to go - one 2 hour workout, 5 more boring meals...and then FREEDOM.

The bad news is, Freedom is only going to last all of 24 hours and I'm feeling torn between stuffing my gills stupid and wondering if my stomach is actually able to take all that food...(especially since I've got so much I want to eat).

But I figure, freedom day is essential to maintain my sanity. You know what they say: everything comes with a string these days. And so it seems Mr Kirsch's diet comes with SUCCESS tied in tandem with MAINTAINANCE.

Although strictly speaking I can do the Maintainance phase, which is only marginally less NaZi than the actual Diet Phase or Phase 1 as they call it, due to my pig out session scheduled on Tuesday and mom's b'day dinner, I shall duly return to Phase 1 (NaZi phase) for a few days. The necessity of it is firstly, Pig Out Day is accompanied by one pig out dinner on Wednesday. Secondly, I hate to admit it but I have become paranoid about the idea of putting it back on. So I figure, after one freedom day, I would have sufficient motivation to keep going for another 2 more weeks for the first Maintainance Phase and then on to the next 4 weeks which are a lot less rigid. And the goal is to create some 'buffer' around the weight loss...in short, lose more, just in case, some of it returns with a vengeance.

(Mr Kirsch reminds us that some deeply unlucky people cannot cheat without seeing the results land on their hips - since I believe myself to be one of those people who gains weight just standing next to a can of whipped cream, I shall not tempt fate.)


Today has felt a bit like the kid waiting for Christmas. I have lots of food waiting for my return to normal life (all 24 hours of it) and I fear that I might send myself into a sugar frenzy. Logically of course there is no rationale reason to think I will never be eating any 'naughty' food again (such as bread and butter pudding, and kueh kodok and Jaffa cakes - all waiting in the fridge for TUESDAY) but someone it feels like that. It feels like...I'm coming out of gastronomic solitary confinement...and I'm going to go stupid for that one day!

I have such a long list of things I want to eat:

Curry puff
Doughnut (from Big Apple in the Curve)
Bread!!! (dammit, no matter what Mr Kirsch says, I can't give up bread...or carbs...they may be bad for us...but life is too short!)
Cake! - I am one of those people cursed with a sweet tooth and a love for all things cream, cheese and butter...preferably all in one place. But then I'll probably not eat cake this time around because there will be cake at my Wednesday Dinner.
Pancakes (white flour!!! - Alexis ones are dreamy)
Nasi Lemak (that I have given up for aeons but probably have put on the list because...well...I'm thinking of food...)
Some horrible greasy fry up...
A strawberry jam doughnut
Coffee! Maybe Mocha Latte...or hell, I would be happy to just drink Americano...any caffeine!
Apple Pie
French fries...the fatter the better!
Quarter Pounder from McDonalds...
A burger from La Bodega with fried egg...onions and CHEESE!
Junk food! (cheezels!!!!)
Nasi Kandar! (okay, not a super priority but...nice too)
Indian rice at Nirwana...(probably a bad idea since I'm really just keen on the salty papadams)

Most of the time, I don't think of my life as deprived of these things. I also do not think I will NEVER be eating this food again. But I find myself now living in this horrible duality of being frightened to eat and yet, wanting to eat. In short, the Good Diet Cop and the Bad Diet Cop are perched on opposite shoulders.

In a way, losing weight is horrible because it puts you in fear state. I don't care about all those people in Mr Kirsch's glowing testimonials who declared they no longer were interested in candy, M&Ms and coffee...

LIFE IS TOO SHORT.

And plus, it really is TOO SHORT to do this crazy diet again. It is too hard, and too not fun (especially the killer exercise sessions).

I am still wondering if I am going to bust my diet at 12.01am Tuesday or wait till brekkie time. I'm leaning on being totally good till Tuesday morning. After all, I have 24 hours...

Day 10: Dem Double Digits

THE LIGHT...IS COMING...

Okay, so my mother made bread and butter pudding today. Not tempted. (she's got some in the freezer for me come TUESDAY!)

So there's tons of leftover fish curry and curried brinjals from last night's little function at the house. Not quite tempted.

I see the light. And I am not budging till I get there.

At least, that's what I keep telling myself.

The exercise hill is another thing altogether. Today was supposed to be a 2 hour day but I simply could not face it. Tu Lan Syndrome was coming back to haunt me. So I decided to give myself the day off. I could hear Mr Kirsch tsk-tsking but the old body simply was not willing to trudge to the gym.

I ended up logging in my time in the evening with zero guilt.

I'm logging in the appointments for Tuesday - it's going to be a veritable day of no work, and mostly eating and no gyming...

I am feeling some trepidations at getting to the end. After buying Mr Kirsch's next book, the Ultimate New York Diet, I am convinced that putting the weight back on is going to be so easy unless I keep up the diet (which I intend to - the modified Phase 2 of it) and the exercise keeps up. And honestly, after 14 days of gastronomic solitary confinement...I just hope I don't eat it all back on Tuesday!...

Day 11...here we come...

Day 9: Not feeling so tough...

I see it....

THE LIGHT....THE LIGHT...

Okay, so Day 9 went by pretty uneventfully except for the niggling feeling that perhaps the exercise was becoming too much in the morning.

My usual 8am tennis session was exhausting and felt like I was trying out for the Marines. It was a really good workout but I was puzzled by why I was feeling quite so winded easily (the rallies were getting longer but...) and my legs felt like lead.

This was making me feel increasingly like perhaps taking a break from the exercise regime (Day 10 would have been another killer 2 hour session) might be the key.

To make things worse, I decided to torment myself by looking at the website of Cold Stone Creameries. I have heard of this company before but I have never tasted their stuff because it's a uniquely American franchise. I looked it up because obviously, a) I am a sadist b) food-sessing (as my friend calls it when I talk about food) has been helpful in getting through these last 2-3 'hill days' c) Mr Kirsch mentioned it in the same breath as one of the loves of my life: Krispy Kreme Doughnuts - it must be tasty in some way!

Boy, does their ice cream look so goood....

Thursday is starting to feel more and more like a sleep-in day.

Day 8: Down Temptation Creek, with no Motivational Paddle

By far, this was the most rock bottom day I had. I was THIS CLOSE to giving up. In desperate need of a motivational pick-up, I visited my fellow sufferer in crime to have lunch.

Eating out is supposedly not encouraged on Mr Kirsch's regime but honestly, I think it makes getting through this whole thing a lot easier. It makes you feel...normal. Like a person.

We had lunch at Manhattan Fish Market - yes, admittedly not the best choice but with careful scrutiny of the menu (something I used to do anyway), you can actually have a not-bad-for-health but most importantly within-the-rules lunch.

We gave detailed instructions to the poor waiter - order went something like this: grilled platter for one, no rice, no chips, salad only, with no carrots (repeat: no carrots) and grilled salmon, no chips, no rice, salad only, no carrots - got it?

Our waiter gamely nodded but when he delivered our food (sans the carrots and with the greens), to our horror, we had forgotten to tell him not to splush any of that gorgeous (okay, I lie - it's not THAT gorgeous, but remember, I haven't seen the sight of dairy for 8 days) garlicky-buttery creamy sauce on our stuff. Fortunately, it didn't actually cover that much of the fish and was the skin side only.

So all through lunch, I bitched about how bored I was with having exercise rule my life. It's not the food that bugs me - I mean, yes it bugs me in terms of limiting my choices but it doesn't REALLY bug me. I was getting to the stage of what the Singaporeans call 'TU LAN'.

TU LAN = something very rude in Hokkien but roughly equates to sick and tired and absolutely fed up to high heaven.

I was fed-up with having to exercise every day. I was bored with the whole situation. And I guess, I was having some of those 'oh, I've already lost a bit of weight...I'm not at my target but I've done pretty well' stage. I was ready to fall off the wagon.

The bitching was good. It was helpful. I felt much better and a lot more motivated. Moral of the story: never do something this crazy, alone!

Day 7: These are a few of my favourite things...

I thought the hill was over and behind me. Evidently not. Woke up this morning with the intention of breaking the gym boredom syndrome by whacking some balls at the tennis backboard.

Yes, I sure picked a lousy day astrologically to do so. 5 minutes into it, I knew it was one of those days, but about 50 times worse. After 20 minutes of confused tennis, wherein my legs moved like jello and my hand-eye coordination was nothing short of pathetic, I gave up.

The night before, I was desperately thinking about all the food I would eat after the 14 days lapsed and simultaneously living in paranoid fear of gaining back whatever weight had taken me a hell of a lot of bloody effort to lose. This eat, no eat conversation is not much fun.

I haven't fallen off the wagon, but I felt quite close to it today.

And I realised, every morning, I have to run the hawker food gauntlet. This little alleyway from my house to the gym in Uptown is basically the neighbourhood hawker stall central so every morning, on my way to the gym (on an empty stomach!) I see people scoffing pan meen, wan tan mee, fried noodles, curry mee...basically lard-carb-oil laden stuff that has both a repulsive effect (calories!) and yet so tempting! (that be the carbs talking).

Things seemed to get a little better in the afternoon after I vented some rage in the office - I'm not quite sure if the venting of my rage helped, or the fact that there was something annoying taking place just gave me ammo to throw all my irritation at a target.

And for the first time, I absolutely had to take an afternoon nap. I was beginning to wonder if the reason why I felt awful was really the whole astrological situation or was it that sip of unadulterated 100 plus I had in the morning before going to the tennis court.

I was beginning to have a very very bad suspicion that...urk, 7 days of low carb, minimal sugar (okay, I allow myself one little cheat - a cup of 100 plus mixed in with a lot of water at the gym on those tough 2 hour days) - was the sudden introduction of sugar into my system what made me go psycho/wobbly in the morning?

I'm putting my money on astrological phenomenon...never-underestimate a Fu Yin...(that's the astrological term)

Passing time has to be the hardest thing on this diet. Passing time not thinking about food. I find a strange consolation in strolling the aisles of supermarkets, looking at the food I CAN'T EAT and watching cookery programs of people making food that, oops, I CAN'T EAT. And I suppose this is the time when having an outrageous imagination can be helpful: I imagine the taste of all the banned food...Imagine eating it...it sounds like torment but it seems to work for me.

I'm not really even that close to the light at the end of the tunnel (that would be like..Day 12, or Day 13...) but I'm already thinking about what I'm going to eat at 12.01AM on the 24th of July - Freedom day!

Ranking high on the list - Starbucks Signature Hot Chocolate...or maybe a Mocha Latte?? Haven't seen the bottom of a coffee cup for 7 days now...




So at 12.01AM the Starbucks at HSBC won't be open. Or maybe it might be. I don't care that I probably won't be able to sleep!

... definitely a disgustingly carb laden but so deliciously bad for health Indomie Goreng will be available, be it at the nearby roach motel mamak, or Bistari in Sri Hartamas (the best Indomie Goreng I've ever had).

Now, proper breakfast on the 24th - that's what I'm really looking forward to. No more protein shakes with flaxseed gunk!! Admittedly, they are very good for me and don't taste quite as foul as one would imagine, but I miss real food. I miss eggs with yolks.

I'm torn between the All Day Breakfast at La Bodega, and a plate of pancakes (carbs! Carbs! sweets! sweets!) at Alexis...and the ultimate...

Kaya on hot buttered toast, with 2 3/4 boiled eggs at my favourite Malaysian kopitiam place: Uncle Lims at the Curve (and the newspaper - perfect!)




Probably a tosai at my favourite Indian restaurant, Nirwana in Bangsar, would be a lot healthier compared to the above choices (but of course, nowhere near as healthy as boiled eggs with turkey...) but I have a feeling I'm going to have a hard time keeping to the health theme after 2 weeks of detox and clean eating.

Then there's LUNCH. Curry mee at La Manila in Midvalley perhaps? Char Kuay Teow at my dad's favourite vendor, Robert's in DU? Or something healthier like a sandwich at Subway? I lurve the Italian BMT. Ah the choices, the choices.





Then there's the 'E' that Mr Kirsch absolutely forbids but which I have decided, life is too short to live without - Extra Sweet. Today I dropped by my favourite bakery/cake spot, Bakerzin to order a cake for someone's birthday. Yes, I was able to stare down the Oreo Cheesecake but that didn't mean I wasn't salivating or thinking about it. Where do I start? Strawberry Jam doughnut at Starbucks for tea? Or a doughnut from the Big Apple in The Curve? (re my love affair with doughnuts, see my post on Krispy Kreme in HK! Ah...we'll always have Hong Kong...)








Anyway, what this all means is (and I suspect that list of my favourite things is going to keep getting longer) I will have to buy Mr Kirsch's new book, the Ultimate New York Diet...

In the meantime, I think that "These are a few of my favourite things" is going to be heard by my neighbours a lot until the 24th...

Death by Diet: On the 7th day of Diet..my Guru Said To Me...

It is Day 6 of my crazy diet (those of you didn't get the email, it's the David Kirsch Ultimate New York Body Plan - notice the lack of the word 'diet' - Mr Kirsch thinks it's a dirty word). Anyway, for those interested...this be it...



And he looks so...nice in the picture. How can such a nice looking person, design such a diabolical diet/exercise fitness regime? On 2nd thoughts, I guess you'd have to be a total NaZi to be able to make women who make a living appearing virtually naked (that's Victoria Secret models) look fabulous.

The diet is Health NaZi to the max: no carrots, no red meat and you only get to eat whatever flies or swims only. And there's the exercise routine: a murderous 2 hours every other day, and 1 hour every day. The gym is starting to feel like home...

It's been an interesting 6 days to say the least. Coffee-deprivation isn't as bad as it would have felt (although if I don't get my daily green tea dose, crankiness starts to hit me at about 6ish) and I have not been 'HUNGRY' - but I certainly have felt deprived.

Highlights of the last 6 days (and no, there will be no STATS provided here...somehow, I'm not quite into sharing THAT much).

Day 1 - An easy day at the gym and I felt pretty okay. But then, it was only Day 1.

Day 2 - the first 'killer day' of the 2 hour workout. I was ready to keel over. But food-wise, was still hanging in there although the chicken and mushroom burgers were starting to feel rather...trying.

Day 3 - Arghhh. To make salmon cakes (Mr Kirsch is also a gourmet cook so he gives you recipes to keep you on track, food-wise), had to buy fish from Jaya Jusco. That meant running the Jaya Jusco GAUNTLET.

Jaya Jusco Gauntlet: the gaggle of food stalls that one has to walk past (and smell and see the food). As I come down the escalator, the first stall I see is the demo stall for Gion Bread...the words "Just One Piece" are flashing through my mind!!!!

I get to the bottom of the escalator, and scoot past the Gion Bread demo people and run straight into the Tako Ball stall....and the bakery with all the sausage bread and pizzas...I keep my head down and scamper on to the supermarket. Damn, the fish is all on the same side as the Jaya Jusco pre-prepared Japanese food...Tempura!...Rice with chicken teriyaki!!! - Unagi with teriyaki sauce dripping off it....honestly this stuff wouldn't get my attention on any day of the week (okay, maybe a 2nd look) but today, it's like...FOOOOOOOD!

And then, the gauntlet has to be repeated, after I have managed to buy my fish!

They don't call it the 3rd Day Hill for nothing!

And to add to the curse, Starbucks has recently introduced Strawberry Jam doughnuts. Arrrghh. What timing.

Day 4 - ugh, the 2 hour session today felt tough. But I felt strangely zippy in the evening. I put it down to the Protein Shakes (not exactly my favourite part of the diet but I've been surprised at how it seems to actually work). But the egg eating is getting to me. I love eggs but not having the yolks is seriously not fun. Mr Kirsch tells us that yolks contain all the calories in an egg so you're only allowed to eat the whites. Diet is starting to feel VERY NAZI at this point...esp when someone eats Oreos in front you!

Went into Starbucks with a friend and SNIFFED the air. This seems to be the only way to get caffeine without drinking it. I felt pretty sad at that point.

Strange dream tonight (could be a psychological thing - my mind trying to tell me something). I dreamt I was having dinner with a friend, and stuffing my face with chocolate cake, margeritas and mashed potatoes! And as my dream alter-ego ate away, my real self (watching in the 3rd person) was horrified at the sight of my dream alter-ego falling off the wagon. It was surreal to say the least.

Day 5 - mood picks up. And i'm feeling a lot better. Which is strange. I expected to feel pretty cranky, hungry, irritable on this diet and I've actually felt more energised - okay, mornings are a killer on my schedule to fit in all that exercise but so far, I haven't felt exhausted to the point of not being able to work. There are the odd moments when something annoying threatens to tip me over the edge and send me ballistic, but green tea actually has a calming effect (or just caffeine substitution).

My mother bakes bread today - the smell of the bread reminds me of my sniffing activities in Starbucks. But strangely enough as it is, just being able to smell it actually makes me feel less deprived. I guess my brain is starting to play tricks in order to get me through this diet!

Day 6 - so far, so good. I've been busy thinking mostly about what I'm going to eat after the 14th day expires (Monday next week) and at the same time, realising, that it might be possible to just totally fall off the wagon and undo all the work of the last 14 days in just one sitting. Clearly, maintaining this thing is going to take as much effort...but I'm only going to think about that...um...next Saturday...Sunday maybe.

Watch this space folks (but em, no...there won't be any before and after pictures)